A day in the life of Spenny

08:00 – It’s noisy, there’s something making strange loud noises. It does this every morning, but I don’t know why.

08:09 – Noisy again. Mum is being mean to me, she’s trying to push me into a smaller space, doesn’t she realise I’m trying to sleep?

08:18 – Noisy yet again, same as normal. Bleah. The cover is poking me and being uneven and uncomfortable, I subdued it last night but it seems to have recovered.

08:30 – It’s been noisy for a while, but thankfully it’s stopped. Mum woke up and rubbed me on the head when she went past. I like it when she does that, but I wish she’d let me sleep.

08:45 – Too noisy to sleep now, always with the noise, I try to ignore it.

08:55 – Feel hungry now, I try to tell mum but she’s ignoring me. Why won’t she feed me? She won’t let me in.

09:11 – Watching the clear door at the end of the stairs, there’s something on the other side and it’s thrown stuff through. I’ll keep an eye on them

09:20 – The stuff from the door hasn’t moved at all, but there was something I saw in the corner of my eye. It disappeared when I looked at it though.

09:30 – Tried to tell mum I’m hungry again. She said something back but I can’t understand it. I’ve been trying to teach her how to speak for ages but I’m not getting anywhere. I think I’ve learned a few of her words, they’re very hard though.

09:35 – Finally, just as I’m getting comfortable mum is going downstairs to feed me.

09:36 – She said it’s “choonah” and walked off. I don’t know what that is, but I like it. There were more things, but I don’t know what they were. She’s gone through the big door that’s always cold on the other side.

09:45 – Finished eating now. Going back to sleep now, still tired. Mum2 is still in bed when I get there, but ignores me.

11:10 – Time to find something to do. Mum2 isn’t here any more, wonder where she went?

11:11 – Found her. She’s in the room with the big flat moving pictures. She’s eating something that smells good but won’t give me any.

11:12 – Yay, she gave me some. I’m going to use the flat thing that mum sits on to sleep I think, it’s nice.

11:40 – Too noisy in here. Mum2 has this thing which keeps making the noise, then she talks at it. I can never understand what she’s saying though. I think she wants it to shut up.

12:03 – Found somewhere nice and quiet. The warm high-up bright thing is around today, so I’ll sit by that and the white warm thing on this ledge. The ledge is kind of weird though. There are these things dangling which get in the way, and there’s some sort of wall I can see through but is hard.

12:07 – There’s zooming things swooping around outside, I keep asking them to come and play with me but they never do. They make me feel hungry, I don’t know why.

12:09 – Told mum2 I was hungry, she ignored me, told her again and again, still ignoring me. Not fair.

12:10 – Hey this bit of floor is warm, I think I’ll stay here whilst I wahba3jhuyhbkloias

14:22 – Oooh, warm still. Feel tired, damn I must have fell asleep, I hope I didn’t miss anything.

14:48 – Mmmm, warm. I saw that thing out of the corner of my eye again, I ran after it but it had gone. Now all my legs ache, need to stretch.

14:50 – Told mum2 I’m hungry again, I don’t think she cares. She did rub me though so I guess I’ll roll around a bit and make the most of it.

15:08 – There it was again! Ran all the way after it, but I lost it when I went downstairs. Stopped for a second, and it’s going past in the other direction, chased it again into the big empty room with the fluffy thing. It’s gone again.

15:09 – Since I’m here I may as well watch stuff through that wall thing with the dangling bits again. Humans are weird, they put these everywhere. They’re kind of fun though. I was there was a warm high thing here too, but there’s only a warm white thing. Can’t have everything I guess.

15:43 – You know, humans really are weird, there’s loads of them walking past. Did I mention they come in different sizes? There’s even some kittens too! Humans treat their kittens so well, look they push them around in little baskets. Why didn’t I get pushed around in a basket when I was a kitten? Not fair.

16:03 – Mum2’s outside, she’s about to come through the door with the coldness on the other side. I’ll go tell her I’m hungry.

16:04 – She ignored me. Not fair again! Why are humans so unfair? She left to the door to the coldness open.

16:05 – Told mum2 the door was open, she rubbed me on the head for a bit. Nice but not what I’m trying to ask for dumbass.

16:06 – Finally got her to follow me, sheesh this is seriously hard work. Showed her the door to the cold was open a bit, she made a noise and shut it. Woo! Told her I was hungry again.

16:07 – Mum2 picked me up and carried me to the food bowl. It always feels weird when she does that.

16:08 – Hey! There’s food here, smells like that choona stuff again. When did this happen? I didn’t see her do that. Why couldn’t she do that earlier! Wish she’d given me something different though, why can’t humans work this out between them?

16:10 – Going to have another nap now on the big soft flat thing. I’ve folded the cover over so it’s even softer. Nice.

19:12 – Heard a noise, and thought mum was back. She’s not, but that weird thing I saw is. I followed it out to by the stairs but it’s gone again, I’ll try to catch it out.

19:15 – There it was again! I see that damn thing every day and I can never get to it. I ran into the big empty room with the picture thing by the see-through wall, but it’s gone now.

19:16 – Hey, there’s loads of these grey tube things here. They’re so awesome, you guys should try these some day. I stopped them ALL from moving, every last one that Mum2 threw to me. Even the ones that zoomed like the things behind the see-through wall! I’m so awesome.

20:28 – I can hear a big rumbly noise behind the see-through wall. That’s got to be mum again. Damn, my legs ache again, I must have fallen asleep in the grey tubes.

20:30 – Woo! Mum’s here again! I missed her so much.

20:31 – Mum picked me up and rubbed me around the head and straightened the fur around my neck. It took me ages to train her to do this, but now I can just move my head and she’ll rub where-ever I want. Bonus, she makes my bum warm when she holds me against her tummy so I spread my legs apart to get more warmth, I wonder if she’s noticed?

20:32 – Told mum I’m hungry and she gave me food straight away, told you I had her trained well, didn’t I? She said it’s more of this “choona” stuff, and said there’s “prorns” and “skwid” and “mussulls” too. I love this stuff.

20:34 – WEEEEOoooooOOOEEEeooo! Feel all bouncy and great! I’m going to chase that thing that keeps bugging me around, see you later.

20:55 – Phew, tired now. Still didn’t catch that damn thing, it just keeps disappearing. So frustrating!

21:41 – Feel better after a snooze, but I’m hungry again.

21:42 – Told mum I’m hungry, she tried to ignore me, how dare she! She’s staring at the moving picture thingies.

21:43 – Poked mum to get her attention, she’s gone grumbly now. Hmpf.

21:44 – Still ignoring me even when I poke her. She’s saying stuff I can’t understand, but I don’t care because mum2 is rubbing me on the tummy.

21:45 – They’re both rubbing me now, that’s better. Still hungry though.

22:01 – Feel like guarding the stairs and the door to the coldness. Be back later.

22:34 – Hey, mum is suddenly here, I didn’t see her move. I think I’ll ask to be rubbed!

22:35 – Dammit! Mum made me fall off the stairs. It’s a good thing I can land on my feet, why did she do that! She does this often you know, if it wasn’t for being rubbed I’d get really fed up with that, it always surprises me. She’s making a weird repeating heaving noise though. She always makes that noise like that, I think she does it on purpose.

22:37 – Mum’s using her litter tray, I think I’ll get some more rubs.

22:39 – She’s still ignoring me when I tell her I’m hungry, what’s going on, she usually feeds me afterwards?

23:38 – Mum’s got the dot thing out for me to play with! I’ll practise on that for that weird thing I keep seeing. She called me “faymus.” I don’t know what that means, I’m Spenny, not faymus.

23:39 – I wonder if faymus is something you can eat, like choona?

23:45 – That’s really hard work, I think I’ll just sit here and watch it instead.

23:46 – Bored now, but I found the warm bit from earlier again.

00:49 – Mum’s back again, she’s still ignoring me, I managed to make her go to the room where her litter tray is, maybe she’ll feed me soon.

00:51 – Eeek, wet stuff, I’ll wait out here away from the freak human getting wet.

01:03 – Finally, being fed. I think they said it’s “sahmun” or something. Never going to get the hang of this.

01:15 – Hey, it’s gone dark, where is everyone?

01:16 – Found them, they’re in the big wide flat soft thing. Yes, they’re in it, like it’s eating them or something but it always let’s them out. Told you they were freaks, but this is where they sleep.

01:18 – Mum’s stopped rubbing me, still wanted rubs, not fair. I’ll guard them instead, if they give me enough room.

01:31 – The big wide flat soft thing was moving, but it’s ok, I stopped it. I bit it a lot, and it stopped moving when I put my paw on it. It’s so dangerous but I’m awesome enough to protect mum.

05:24 – What was that? Never mind, it’s gone whatever it was. Need to use the litter tray now, dammit.

05:27 – Phew, feels better now.

06:01 – I’m hungry.